Do you have helicopter parents?
“Do you have helicopter parents?”
A helicopter parent is someone who hovers over every part of their kid’s life: school, friendships, decisions. They try to control everything to protect them from failure. Going with that definition, I don’t think my parents are helicopter parents, but my parents do have really high standards that end up controlling aspects of my life.
My parents are sometimes confusing to my friends because they are super chill about some things, and then randomly extremely intense about others. There’s really no in-between. They will let me hang out with my friends almost whenever but they will also take away my phone or not let me hang out at all if I have a test coming up.
For academics, no matter what, they are never chill. They have very high standards, and are the type to say, “why didn’t you get a 100 instead of a 97.” Getting all A’s is never an accomplishment, it is always the bare minimum.
My mom will also send me reminders for opportunities outside of school. She will constantly send me a list of things I should already be doing: studying, planning ahead, applying to different programs, and just preparing for the future. She isn’t trying to control me, she just wants me to take advantage of opportunities. There is the stereotype about “Asian parents” being super strict and academically focused, and while it is definitely overused, there is some truth behind it. A lot of it comes from cultural values like discipline, respect, and hard work.
While my parents do fit into this stereotype, they aren’t controlling in every aspect of my life, which is why I don’t call them helicopter parents. They have actually given me a lot of freedom in areas that matter to me. For example, when I wanted to pursue competitive dance, my dad was definitely skeptical at first. He didn’t see how it fit into the whole “academics is the number one priority” plan. But after a lot of convincing (and some tears), he said yes because it was one of my passions. After that, he committed to supporting me. That meant a lot to me, because it showed that even if they don’t always understand my choices right away, they trust me. Even if I get an "I told you so” a lot.
They also don’t really control my friendships or who I hang out with, which I really appreciate. That freedom has helped me figure out who I am on my own, without feeling like someone is constantly controlling my life. I think that’s the biggest difference between my parents and true helicopter parents. Helicopter parenting limits independence, it stops kids from learning how to make decisions, fail, and grow. My parents do influence me, but they don’t step in and take over my life.
Their expectations still have a huge impact on me. Even when they’re not directly telling me what to do, there’s this constant pressure in the background. I want to do well not just for myself, but for them. Sometimes that pressure can feel overwhelming, like no matter what I do, I should always be doing more. At the same time, it motivates me. It keeps me focused and pushes me to aim higher. They don’t hover over every decision I make or control every part of my life. They push me, but they also give me space to grow into my own person. They know what we can accomplish, and they make sure we don’t stray from our goals. That balance between high expectations but also freedom, is what’s helped me become who I am, and I wouldn’t change anything. I am grateful for everything they have done and the way they have shaped me.
Hi Shreya, great blog! It was well structured and flowed nicely. You also picked a lot of good examples that help us understand what your parents' expectations are, but you don't go too deep into unnecessary stories and still make space for reflection. I agree that even though strict parenting can be tough sometimes, if it is not too overbearing, it can really push us to grow and be better for us in the long run.
ReplyDeleteThe last sentence of the 5th paragraph sort of brings up a new idea of "I told you so," and I wonder if you could expand on that by explaining some of the circumstances that led to that and how it makes you feel, or maybe cut it if you don't have room. But I do think it would be valuable to add, because it could highlight some bit of humor or "tough love." Overall, really nice job!
Hi Shreya, great essay! I think a lot of people can relate to you with essay. Although I (luckily) don't consider my parents to be helicopter parents, I can definitely relate to you on some aspects like getting good grades in school. I think for your essay, you could add some more reflection. Maybe reflect more on the positive aspects of why your parents act like this, or what positive effect having helicopter parents led to. You could also add in some examples of how your parents made you go to extracurriculars if you have any space as well. As for a title, you could have something like why your glad/not glad to have helicopter parents. I'm not 100% sure though...
ReplyDeleteHey Shreya! Your blog is really well written and relatable. I liked how you organized your essay with good examples of narratives and explanations (mainly on your introduction) and that was a good hook for me to stay immersed in your ideas. I also agree with what you develop on the essay and I honestly got to say that I also have the same kind of parents, but I don't feel that this has a huge impact on me. The flow of the essay is really good, however, I suggest you to show more about your perspective, that means that it would be better if you showed if you like the way you parents are or even if you had talked to them about this. Overall, you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you made the distinction between controlling a child versus setting a high bar for them. I think your reflection isn't actually that repetitive, as it's taking what you stated in the introduction and expanding on it given the rest of your essay. If you want a more substantial "narrative" section, you could consider reframing your essay around trying to convince your parents to do competitive dance, because I think there's a lot of stuff you could say about that alone.
ReplyDeleteHi Shreya! This is a very reflective and heartfelt blog. I really like how were are able to get to know you on a deeper level throughout this essay. We get to learn what motivates you to do the things you do. You acknowledge that your parents are sometimes very strict and do not give lots of freedom when it comes to academics, but in social life, they are much more lenient. You recognize that they only want what is best for you, and they influence the many decisions you make. It is very mature of you to be able to recognize that both can be true at the same time. They are restrictive when it comes to performance, but not to the point where it breaks you. I really like how you can appreciate your parents at the end, and it really brings the essay to a close very nicely. A possible title could be "Shrodinger's Parents" (sounds kinda cheesy, but I think it can highlight the dual nature of your parents). Overall, really great blog Shreya!
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